Ahimsananda - Contemplation, Meditation, going beyond Awareness

Light in the Darkness - Watching the Sunrise

In medieval times, there was a wide spread belief that light was the purest form of God's power; his essence. This is reflected in the wonder of the stained glass windows of the great cathedrals.

In many ancient and modern tribes there is a tradition of sitting in meditation during the sunrise and sunset. The power of the sunrise and sunset is unmistakable in scientific or primitive terms.

"Each Dawn, in the sunrise,

I am gratitude.

Each eve, in the sunset,

I am Trust."

The sunrise, bringing today's promise, is another occasion for gratitude and boundless joy. The sunset, brings rest in the trust that if "tomorrow " never comes, the light still never goes out.

And this is it; what we seek, this light that never goes out. Whether we conceive of our selves as "wrapped in light ", or "lost in the embrace of God.", there is a wonder to this light. Gratitude and trust need be our only "practice " and "prayer ".

To paraphrase the Bible, 'the light shown in the darkness, but the darkness perceived it not.' This "perceiving not " of that which is all around us; this light, this awareness, is at the heart of the confusion of mankind. But the answer is also right before us. It is the "practice" of gratitude and prayer. Whether you actually sit and watch the sunrise or sunset regularly (which I highly recommend!), or you are moved by the swirling patterns of stained glass reflected on the floors of cathedrals or temples, it is worth taking the time each day to re-connect with grateful, trusting, wordless prayer. For the moment you are "lost " in gratitude; in silent "connection ", you are bathed in the light, and no darkness is left to "perceive it not".

Realization, Awareness and Enlightenment

These three terms for an "awakening" ; Awareness, Enlightenment, and Realization are all used to describe the indescribable "state" of "uncovery" we often describe "ourselves" as "seeking". Of these. I have come to accept "Realization" as the most apt.

Awareness and Enlightenment both seem to involve a "future" happening; "I am not aware now, butseek awareness", or "I am un-enlightened, and will become enlightened." While, Realization simply means that I observe the unreal as real and the real as unreal;. a simple slip of the mind!

What is the meaning of "Realization" anyway? It is to "arrive" at the understanding that there is "substance", meaning, particularly without mental understanding. We are talking of an acceptance ofliving for the unseen, inexpressible, but clearly understood, impossible to explain to both others and yourself, but clearly written in the heart with a conviction that is both peaceful and absolute.

To "Realize" yourself as Love, not an intellectual understanding, but to make it "Real", is that which you "seek". It is not a "future" event; it is now. All you need is absolute conviction. You are not moving mountains here, just turning your view. See yourself, not as the seen; body/mind, story, past, future, but as the unseen; Loving, experiencing, living for the "Real". Absolute conviction; the "secret ingredient". Absolute conviction makes the "real" that already is, "Real" as experience; in experience. Live the Love, and it is true. Extend your hand in trust, and your actions become "Real" actions. Don't dismiss the "seen", as it is a "reflection" of the unseen. Don't fall into the trap ofseparation of the "seen" from the "unseen". Just observe them as they are. They are all part of the functioning of the whole.

If you want "Realization", reach out with Absolute conviction, absolute courage. It is with you always, embrace it.

You are Love, make it "Real"!

"Enlightenment" and Mental Illness

One of the things Spiritual Teachers and Seekers alike need to remember is that many people searching for spiritual development are trying to escape from lives that seem like nothing but trouble and strife. This frequently means people who society regard as "mentally ill".

I once saw on a spiritual website, the question "How do you tell the difference between "enlightenment" and mental illness?" It is true that some forms of schizophrenia result in a kind of inability to differentiate between one's "own" existence and others, and a kind of "no-self" perception is held. This may indeed be "enlightenment", and if it causes no pain or behavioral problems, may go unnoticed. But if a person, by living this out, comes to the attention of the authorities, they will often be thought mentally ill, and in need of psychological help. The fact is; there may be no difference between "enlightenment" and mental illness.

All my life, I have lived with what is known as Asperger's Syndrome. Now, Asperger's is not mental illness. It is in the Autistic spectrum, but undiagnosed, it often is mis-diagnosed as mental illness. Asperger's, like most autism spectrum conditions, causes social problems; inability to make friends, socially inappropriate behavior, obsessive interests in one or two, sometimes eccentric pursuits. My "obsession" has always been God and spiritual interests, even as a child. Asperger's was not unknown when I was a child, but it was not an "accepted" condition until the 1990's, so few psychologists and psychiatrists knew much, if anything, about it. I did not find out about it until I was over 60, so struggled with it, unknown, all my life. In spite of the struggle, or more likely because of it, I developed spiritually more than any other aspect of "my personality". In recent years, studies have been done with people on the Autism Spectrum, in regards to spirituality, with fascinating results. I myself, having worked with autistic people, have seen many unexpected spiritual insights.

To return to mental illness, it is important to understand that spiritual insight could be interpreted as such by those uninformed. I have seen many autistic, "mentally ill", and others "treated" rather than listened to. It is so easy to label all that are different as "disturbed" or mentally ill, rather than think that they may have a special insight, or be "open" to the "real". A perfect example is the great avatar Ramakrishna. Ramakrishna did not act in a "conventional" way. He saw visions. He jumped and shouted during worship, and even became "monkey-like" during his Hanuman "period". By today's Western standards, Ramakrishna would be considered mentally ill, maybe to the point of hospitalization!

Again, I would site Ramana Maharshi. In his teens he "viewed" his own death, was "awakened" by the experience, and went silent. He was "lost" in meditation for some time. If others had not looked after him, he could have died. This would seem like mental illness in the West, even by the standards of his own time.

Having read interviews of a number of "enlightened" teachers, I have found that many have experienced mental illness, or had alcohol or drug problems. Even without illness or substance abuse, many have had troubled lives with "addictions" to a variety of unhealthy behaviors. These teachers very often found that a crisis, or "life shaking" event, brought about their "awakening". This is something they, and all of us must keep in our mind, especially if we presume to "teach".

As teachers, we need to be aware that for many spirituality is an escape. We must see that some seekers may indeed be mentally ill. I read just today about a young woman who sees herself as "enlightened". She has reached an intellectual understanding that she does not exist, and sees herself as one with God. She expresses that she thinks she IS God. She seems to believe this, and sees herself as "fully in control". This is the problem with telling seekers that "you already are enlightened". Spiritual "beginners" are just starting out on a journey many don't understand. The compulsion to "seek" comes before any understanding. To tell such a seeker that they are God, or that "you are already awakened", as Papaji used to do, is very dangerous. Another well known teacher told a seeker who was happily married, that there "is no doer", and no sense of responsibility for our actions. This confused the seeker, who went about behaving as he chose, engaging in sexual affairs, feeling that he had no need to worry, as there was no doer. He lost his wife, and suffered a breakdown. A true teacher will know who is serious, who is after self "enhancement", and who is mentally ill. The teaching will be tailored to the seeker.

The important thing to remember is that "enlightened" behavior is not always "normal" behavior. Those who follow their own drummer, are often outcast. Look at the Christ. He lived the truth and came smack up against authority. Today, we may not crucify the Christ, but he would surely land in a Psychiatric facility! As teachers we have to have compassion. If your reason for teaching is anything other than compassion, then you may not be a "real" teacher. A great description of the "incarnation" of the Christ, is that God loved mankind so much, that he "became" the "object" of his love: man. Just as a "person" realizes that they are Love (the Absolute), and then is confronted with the enormity of "living that out", a teacher must realize that the "call" to teach requires him to be compassion, and to recognize each "seeker" for who they are, and what they need. Mental illness and "realization" often go hand in hand. It takes compassion to see the difference, when there is one.

The Simplicity of the Little Child

Studies of Spiritual or Religious beliefs, doctrines and practices can become very complicated.

But the "Masters" have taught very simple truths, very simple practices. Ramana Maharshi asks us to inquire "Who am I?". Nisargaddata Maharaj tells us to stay in the "I AM". Jesus, the Christ, said "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

Becoming as little children is the humbling experience that allows Love, the reality of what we are, to flow. There is nothing complicated about it.

Once we have resolved the fact of our "I AMNESS", and can abide in it, it is a simple step to Awareness. Perhaps it will take much study of complicated beliefs, doctrines and practices for us to realize that our minds can not reach the "Truth". Because we do not listen to the "Masters", we feel we need to "reinvent the wheel", and fill our minds with spiritual dross. But those who trust like little children, will listen and follow the simple teachings. Some need to "exhaust the mind" to come to the realization that the mind cannot grasp, or even approach Awareness, while the simple child like ones come upon Awareness naturally.

Many "Masters" from all spiritualities have spoken of simplicity: Lao Tzu said “I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”. The medieval Monk and author of "The Imitation of Christ" Thomas a Kempis wrote: “Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.” The Indian Sage of the Late 19th and early 20th centurys, Papa Ramadas says "Simplicity is the nature of great souls". It is not hard to see and understand that simplicity is the road to Truth.

We are no less than God's Love. The creative flow of Love is all that there is. God, the "I AM" and the world all vanish in that simple flowing Love.

I am telling you, become like a little child, forget all your "wisdom" and concentrate on this passage from Dattatreya's Avadhuta Gita: 2 "How shall I salute the formless being, indivisible, auspicious, and immutable, who fills all this with His Self and also fills the self with His Self?"

Dwell on this question. It is beyond the mind. Your Heart will answer.

Adyashanti - on being "stuck" in "emptiness".

I came upon this quote from Adyashanti on another spiritual site. It is so similar to my teaching and some of my recent posts, that I wanted to include it here:

"Many spiritual seekers get "stuck" in emptiness, in the absolute, in transcendence. They cling to bliss, or peace, or indifference. When the self-centered motivation for living disappears, many seekers become indifferent. They see the perfection of all existence and find no reason for doing anything, including caring for themselves or others. I call this "taking a false refuge." It is a very subtle egoic trap; it's a fixation in the absolute and all unconscious form of attachment that masquerades as liberation. It can be very difficult to wake someone up from this deceptive fixation because they literally have no motivation to let go of it. Stuck in a form of divine indifference, such people believe they have reached the top of the mountain when actually they are hiding out halfway up its slope. Enlightenment does not mean one should disappear into the realm of transcendence. To be fixated in the absolute is simply the polar opposite of being fixated in the relative. With the dawning of true enlightenment, there is a tremendous birthing of impersonal Love and wisdom that never fixates in any realm of experience. To awaken to the absolute view is profound and transformative, but to awaken from all fixed points of view is the birth of true nonduality. If emptiness cannot dance, it is not true Emptiness. If moonlight does not flood the empty night sky and reflect in every drop of water, on every blade of grass, then you are only looking at your own empty dream. I say, Wake up! Then, your heart will be flooded with a Love that you cannot contain."

-Adyashanti

Emotion in the search beyond "I AM".

Ramana Maharshi recommended exploring "Who am I?" Nisargadatta advised the earnest examination of the "I AM".

But this only leads to the "I". This is a comfortable place. It is a place, where anyone, with proper diligence (earnestness!), can find rest. It gives "one" an intellectual sense of who "one" is, but it is only the first step to Oneness.

The mind can only go as far as the "I AM". All else is speculation based on memory or imagination. How then to go beyond?

The mind, in Advaita circles, has often become the "devil". It lies in wait to catch hold of spiritual experiences, insights, and to confuse and falsely "entertain" itself. This, almost bestowing intent on the mind, paints an erroneous picture. The mind is often portrayed as "protecting" itself from extinction. This to, is giving "motive' to the mind which simply does not exist. The body, the mind, the emotions, are all part of the functioning of the whole. All have their purpose, and require acceptance. But the mind is the tool of choice for the Advaitin, even though it is held in suspicion and comtempt.

Most Advaitins, as well as most people, see the emotions as part of the mind. Some see them as body sensations caused by particular thoughts in the mind. Others think the thoughts arise out of certain body sensations. Clearly the mind and body are intimately linked, but ultimately, it's all linked, so this is no answer.

The emotions are only reflections, like everything in "my" world. But they are not in the mind.

The emotions all stem from Love. Now, here I am not speaking of love; the emotion, but the impersonal Love. Here again, we have the semantics problem. We all have our "attachments" to the word love. Here I am talking about agape, in it's fullness. David Jenkins, former Bishop of Durham, prior to his election as Bishop, gave a lecture in which he gave a wonderful description of agape. He described God as having so much compassion; so identifying with man, that he "became" one (Jesus) in order to manifest Love (Christ). In the Christian sense, this is the humbling of God to bring compassion to the Cosmos. But it also demonstrates the creative power of Love as "essence" (The Absolute)

The emotions are often looked at as distractions to spirituality, both in the East and in the West. But they are there, and trying to eradicate them, only makes them stronger. Ignoring or suppressing them also is useless and dangerous.

So here, we have more to look at. Emotions. Let them move through. See how the mind reacts. See what the mind creates. Watch the emotions but don't "own" them. They can teach you something, so don't ignore them, but they are not "you". They are just the "emotion track" of the "movie" you "live" in. Love, as creative power, does not exist in the mind, but the mind in it. However, the reflections, the lesser emotions do.

The "lesser" emotions: hate, fear, lust, anger, desire and so on, as well as some of the "better" emotions like joy, peace, contentment, surprise, pleasant expectation, are all just refractions, reflections, and distortions of the impersonal Love.

Love, not the noun we set in our mind and try to define and dissect, but Love as verb. Love in action. Love as connection. This Love is the essence; the Absolute if you will.

These "emotions" are part of the whole when it comes to realizing the Truth. Studying these emotions, with dispassion, will get you closer to the source. We all know, even the most cynical among us, the Truth is outside the reaches of the mind. So we must seek elsewhere.

When you "feel" something, rather than dismissing it, ignoring it, or using the mind to "block" it, open your "heart" to it. Remove the "subject" and "object" and remain in the "verb". As you examine the "functioning" of the emotion, it's relationship to love, or it's lack thereof, will become apparent. When you do this with Love, as creative power, you find that you are nothing less than that indescribable movement.